


Coming of Age Part One

by foreverbm



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Angst, Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-12-10
Updated: 2009-05-03
Packaged: 2013-07-20 05:05:30
Rating: M
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,708
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4709165/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1355614/foreverbm
Summary: This is the story of Hunter and his girlfriend Amanda and the problems they have to face in their relationship. It is also very Ben and Michael focused.





	1. Chapter 1

Coming Of Age

Part One: Explanations

A week has passed since we celebrated Hunter's nineteenth birthday. It was just family and friends, but even so the house seemed to be full, and we partied late into the night. I was extremely proud of the birthday cake I'd made. It had been a definite improvement on the one I'd made for his sixteenth birthday.

I still found it hard to believe he's nineteen; it seems only yesterday that Ben and I found him asleep outside our apartment door. He's grown into a wonderful person in those years and makes Ben and I proud at every turn to be his parents.

I sometimes wonder if he ever thinks about his life before we took him in. I like to think he's managed to put those demons to rest, that the love and security we give him is enough to push those painful memories from his mind. Outward appearances make me think it has. He's doing great at school, is popular, and I think had lost much of that mistrust he had of the world back then.

I worry about him though; guess that's part of being a parent. He's healthy, which is all we can ask for. He still grumbles every time I remind him it's time for his check up but he goes because he now realizes the importance of it. It took a while for Ben and I to make him understand that; probably because in his mind if he didn't think about it, it would somehow just disappear.

If he has any worries or questions about his health, he goes to Ben which I understand. They will always share that bond of blood, but he surprises me at times by coming to me when it's just been the two of us at home. He has that embarrassed – sharing with your parents is not cool – look on his face, but I keep my silence until he's ready to talk. I'm never quite sure what his questions will be, and if I would be able to answer them but the fact he even comes to me shows how much he has changed from that withdrawn sixteen year old who thought that everyone in the world was out for what they could get.

I came out of my day dreaming as the front door slammed, and Hunter walked into the room, dropping his bag on the floor, a mumbled 'hi' all I received as he made his way to the kitchen. I could hear cupboard doors opening and shutting, and he finally walked back into the room, cookies in one hand, snapping open a can of soda with the other and dropped onto the sofa next to me.

"How was school?" I asked, reaching out and grabbing one of the cookies.

"Fuck off!" He snapped as I grabbed another one.

I laughed, knowing he didn't mean it, but knew better than try to sneak another one.

"Michael?" He said, nibbling at his cookie.

"Yeah."

"I've met this girl…."

His voice wandered off, and I had an idea where this conversation maybe leading. To be a straight and positive teenager was a difficult place to be, and I wondered if he'd have an easier time of it if he was gay. The understanding of HIV in the gay community compared with the world he mixed in was very different and through a couple of previous conversation we'd had over the last two years, I knew he was concerned about how much he had to tell a girl he wanted to have sex with. He'd done the right thing with Callie, but it had taken him a long time to accept that.

He was a good looking kid, and girls were starting to notice him more and more and although there didn't seem to be anyone special in his life. I wondered if that was about to change. He'd never told me directly whether he was having sex with the few girls who seemed to come into his life and then disappear just as rapidly, but I got the impression that he wasn't doing the fucking around that most kids his age were doing. Whether that was because of his positive status, or he was scared of getting hurt again or because Ben and I had managed to instill a lot of self respect into him, I don't know, but whatever it was I was proud of him, not just for coming to me, but also because he cared enough about the possible ramifications when he told a girl the truth.

"What's her name?" I asked, sneaking another cookie without him noticing.

"Amanda"

I noticed the starry-eyed look in his eyes as he said her name and couldn't help but smile.

"Shut up." He said, grabbing another cookie.

"I didn't say a word." I replied, but not able to take the smile from my face. I decided to cut him some slack.

"Is she pretty?" I asked, and I saw his face light up.

"Fuck yeah!" He replied.

I could see I wasn't going to find out in a hurry where this conversation was leading.

"Ok….so details!" I said.

"She's not very tall, about your height probably…."

"Hey I'm not short!" I stated.

"Yeah, right!" He replied. "I'm surprised you don't have to stand on a box for Ben to kiss you."

I tried to ignore that but as always had no intention of letting him having the last word.

"Don't be a smart ass, and for your information Ben thinks I'm the perfect height." I said smugly.

"Yeah, and Ben likes tofu and soy bean loaf, so his opinion doesn't hold a lot of weight with me." Hunter retorted, moving quickly as I lifted my hand to smack him around the ears.

He grinned at me, and I felt a surge of love for him.

"So tell me more about Amanda!" I demanded.

"She's got long black hair and brown eyes, and she's real smart." He began. "And I can't figure out why she's interested in me." Hunter shook his head slightly.

"Hey don't sell yourself short. You're good looking; you can tell her you take after your handsome father if you want." I ignored the snort from him before continuing. "And you're kind and considerate."

"And don't forget smart!" He laughed.

"Yeah well, I think you can thank your other father for that part." I laughed, before continuing, "So how did you meet her?"

"We got paired up for a science project." He answered. "And afterwards we went for a drink and we've been seeing each other after school a lot."

"Really…."

"Yeah, and we just sit and talk for hours." Hunter said; that dreamy look in his eyes again.

"And did you tell her about your two dashing young Dads?" I asked tentatively.

He laughed before answering.

"Yeah, and she thought it was kinda cool."

I breathed a sigh of relief. One hurdle out of the way.

"But I haven't told her that….." His voice trailed off; that closed off look, which I recognized so well, crossed his face.

"You're positive?"

A slight nod of his head was the only response I got, and I now knew where this conversation was heading and hoped that I could find the words to answer the questions that I knew would be coming.

"Have you two had sex?" I asked quietly.

"No." He answered.

"But you want to?"

"Yeah."

"And you're worried about what she will say if you tell her?"

"Course I fucking am!" He snapped.

I didn't say anything for a moment waiting for his next words.

"Sorry…I didn't mean to….."

"Yeah, I know." I replied. "I understand you're worried, but you know what Ben and I have always told you."

"Yeah…but what happens if she hates me when she finds out, or she tells everyone."

"Do you think she'd do that?"

He sat quietly for a few minutes before answering.

"No." He replied hesitantly "I don't think so, but what if she wants to know more….like how I got it…what do I tell her then?"

"That's up to you Hunter." I answered, wishing he didn't carry this burden from his childhood around with him. "I think you'll know from her reaction how she feels and then you'll just have to decide yourself exactly how much you tell her. If you really have feelings for her…"

"I do…..I mean….I think…. I'm in love with her." He interrupted, and I saw a light blush cover his face.

"You haven't known her very long." I said doubtfully.

"And how long did you know Ben before you knew you loved him?" Hunter asked an innocent look on his face.

I knew he had me there; he'd heard the story often enough of how I had fallen in love with Ben the moment I saw him.

"Thought you may have forgotten about that.." I grinned at him.

"How the fuck could I? you tell that story every time the two of you get all soppy and romantic."

I laughed at the look of disgust on his face and a smile twitched his lips.

"Perhaps I take after you two more than I thought….which when I think about it, is actually fucking scary." He said, shaking his head.

"Hey there's nothing wrong with a little romance in your life." I replied, thinking of the candle-lit dinners and romantic weekends away Ben and I had shared over the years.

"Hey…get your mind out of your pants and back to me!" Hunter's voice broke my thoughts, and I focused back on him ignoring the smirk on his face.

"Sorry…where we were…oh yes……Amanda and you and….."

"What do I tell her?" He asked, the smile disappearing from his face as fast as it had appeared.

"Do you think she feels the same way about you?" I asked.

"Yeah….we've sort of talked about a future together…she's not like all the other girls…she's not into the party scene…even though she takes school really seriously, she talks about wanting a family too….which is another problem isn't it."

I knew what he was talking about, and once again the anger I felt at the legacy his mother had left him overwhelmed me.

"Let's just concentrate on one thing at a time." I said. "What you should tell her."

"And how I should tell her…it's not like I can say…..by the way I'm HIV positive, and I used to fuck guys for a living…and even if I do manage to tell her, and she's ok with it…which I fucking doubt anyone would be….what happens when we actually want to do it, and she gets scared or something."

Memories of a night standing in a cold bathroom flooded my mind at his words, and I felt a shiver go through my body. The hurt I'd caused Ben with my words still haunted me, and although Ben had understood and in the end everything had turned out fine, I wished I could have taken back that moment. The pain I'd seen in Ben's eyes at my words was something I didn't want Hunter to have to experience. He was still a kid, and I wasn't sure he would get over it, especially if they were said by someone he loved.

"How much have you told her about your childhood….I mean before you came to us?" I asked, my mind skipping ahead trying to see if there was a solution to this problem he was about to face.

"Just that I ran away from home 'cause my mother was a psychotic bitch." He answered.

"Yeah well that about covers it." I replied, and received a small smile from him. "What did she say to that?"

"She asked how I lived?"

"And you said……" Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth, but I was patient, and I knew he had to work some of this out for himself, and talking about it was part of the way to do it. I also knew I would find out a lot about this girl who seemed to have stolen my son's heart if I just let him talk in his own time.

"On the streets." Hunter replied. "She didn't say anything for a while, and then just wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug and said_ 'that must have been so hard for you'._

I decided at that moment I liked this Amanda verymuch.

"Did she ask anything else?"

He shook his head. "No, but I could tell she wanted to."

"If you really care for her….."

"I DO!"

"Let me finish." I answered, holding up my hand. "Then you have to tell her the truth. I don't mean every detail but starting a relationship built on lies is not a good idea. And if you don't tell her the truth, at least a watered down version of it, how are you going to explain your positive status?"

The weight of the world seemed to be on his shoulders as he sunk lower into the sofa.

"And what if she reacts like Callie did….telling me all she could think about when she saw me was all those men doing things to me!" He demanded. "And why wouldn't she?"

"From what you have said about her, I don't think she will. I think she may need time to think about it and perhaps want to ask more questions. How you answer you will have to decide at the time, but it's a chance you have to take Hunter, especially if as you said you are talking about a future together."

He seemed to consider my words before speaking again.

"That makes sense. But then the next part….."

"If she wants kids?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, we need to look into this if you want to. Or do you want to wait until you have talked to her?"

"No. I want….need to know everything cause if she can handle what I tell her about my past, I think she deserves to know what our future maybe like."

He sounded so much older than his nineteen years when he spoke, and I reached out and gave him a hug. He didn't pull away, and I gradually felt the tension leave his body.

"Come with me." I said, standing and walking to the computer, flicking on the 'on' switch and grabbed a chair for him. He sat down, fiddling with a pen on the desk as it booted and I put some keywords in the search bar and waited. The words that Ben had told him a few years ago. _'they're working on it,'_ entered my head, and I hoped that some of that work had come to fruition.

I scrolled down the screen until I found something like we wanted and hit the enter key. My eyes skimmed through the article quickly, and I knew what it said was not what he wanted to hear.

He leaned forward and began to read from the screen:

_Several studies have been done on relationships where one partner is positive and the other is negative. This is called mixed status or HIV discordant couples. Even if the HIV (+) partner has a healthy immune or defense system (low viral load and good CD4 count), the possibility of infecting the HIV (-) person is still very real. _

_A baby can only be HIV positive if his/her mother is HIV positive. Medicines, such as AZT, can be used during child birth to prevent the virus from spreading to the baby. However, mixed status couples that continue to have unprotected sex in an attempt to "get pregnant" run the risk of infecting both mom AND baby. _

_Unfortunately, at this time, there are not many options. I strongly recommend condom use (male and/or female) during sex between mixed status couples. _

_I listened to him as he read and heard his voice shake slightly by the time he had finished._

_"So much for having kids!" He almost shouted, and I reached out for him but he pulled away._

_"Hunter, listen to me. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but there are two things in your favor."_

_"What?" He asked, and I could see that he was struggling to contain the anger that I knew he must be feeling at the moment._

_"You are still young, which means when you decide to have kids, things may have changed……"_

_"Yeah right. Ben told me….."_

_"I know what Ben told you, and I still believe it will happen." I replied trying to stay upbeat for him._

_He shrugged, and I could tell he didn't quite believe me, but at the moment was willing to grasp any hope that might be thrown his way._

_"And what's the other thing?" He finally asked._

_"That Amanda would be willing to accept this because she loves you. And remember adoption is a possibility if you both decide you really want to have children." I answered. "I mean, we adopted you, and it's not too bad is it."_

_A smile actually touched his lips for the moment, and this time when I reached out, he allowed me to give him another hug._

_"So you're saying take the chance and tell her everything?" He asked._

_"It's not my decision Hunter but yes, I think you should." I replied. "And one more thing."  
_

_"Now what?"_

_"When do we get to meet our future daughter-in-law?"_


	2. Chapter 2

Coming Of Age

Part Two – Discussions

I was already in bed when Ben arrived home from his faculty meeting. I'd spent the rest of the evening thinking about whether I'd really helped Hunter in any way. He was quiet most of the evening, and I imagined that everything we'd talked about was still weighing heavily on his mind.

I needed to talk to Ben about it all; he always managed to look at things with a different perspective, and I guess I also wanted some reassurance that I'd handled it right.

I heard the front door slam, and a smile lit up his face when he walked into the bedroom, and I lifted my face for his welcoming kiss.

"How was the meeting?" I asked, grabbing a pillow and putting in behind my back to make myself more comfortable.

"Good actually! We managed to get most of next semester planned. I'm really looking forward to it. I've got a great bunch of students who are eager to learn." Ben replied, removing his jacket and scarf, before sitting on the bed next to me.

"The fact that they have a wonderful, and not to mention hot, professor may have something to with their attendance as well." I replied which earned me another kiss.

"So how was your evening?" He asked, reaching down and removing his shoes.

"Interesting."

He looked up a slight frown crossing his face before he spoke.

"Interesting as in you didn't burn dinner or interesting as in you've got something to tell me." His hand found mine, squeezing it gently. Perhaps he could tell by the tone of my voice that it was the latter.

"Why don't you take a shower, and we'll talk when you get back." I suggested.

"Sounds serious." He responded meeting my gaze.

"It's complicated." I wasn't sure if that was the right word, but it was all I could come up with at the moment.

He nodded before walking towards the door then stopped, turning back to me.

"You want to join me?"

I shook my head.

"No, just come back soon." I replied and snuggled under the covers to wait for him.

It felt like only a few minutes before I heard him walk back into the room. I pulled the covers back, and he climbed in next to me, switching off the bedside light. There was enough moonlight coming through the window so that I could see his face clearly. I rested my head on his chest and found his hand, and I must have let out a sigh because he reached down, lifting my chin, looking into my eyes.

"Michael, what's wrong?"

I took a deep breath and took him through the conversation Hunter and I had shared earlier in the evening. He didn't interrupt, and when I'd finished, hoping I hadn't left anything out, I just looked up at him. I could tell he was thinking about all I'd told him so I relaxed against his body, knowing he would take his time before giving me his thoughts.

"You said exactly the right things, baby." He said, dropping a kiss on my head. "I have a few concerns though."

"Like what?" I asked.

"How young they are. Hunter hasn't really had a serious girlfriend since Callie, and we know how badly that ended. I'm just concerned that they are rushing into things, this talk about a future together. I would like Hunter to finish college and by the sounds of it, this Amanda is serious about her schooling. Relationships at any age take time, and I wouldn't like to see that interfering with his education." Ben said.

"I agree, but I also think that if Hunter is happy with this girl, and she wants to do well in school, that could be good for him." I replied. "We both know that although he's getting reasonably good grades, he doesn't really like it that much." I said looking up at Ben. I could see he was considering this and waited for his reply.

"That's a good point, but so many relationships at this age don't last. I guess the bottom line is I don't want him to get hurt again."

I understood Ben's feelings, remembering back to that night, after Hunter broke up with Callie, when nothing we said could comfort him.

"Whether they last or not is something we can't control." I said. "All we can do is be there for him in which ever way he needs us."

"You're very wise tonight." Ben said, pulling me closer.

A smile touched my lips at his words. I knew Ben's main concern would be Hunter's happiness, which was mine as well, but I also knew what it was like to love someone and want nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with them.

Ben's voice broke my train of thought, and I concentrated on his words.

"I think perhaps we should ask Hunter to invite Amanda for dinner one night so we can get to know her."

"Before or after he has talked to her?" I asked.

"Mmmmm…….maybe we should ask him how he feels about that." Ben replied. "Like you, I like the sound of her, and if Hunter cares about her this much, I think she must be a good person. He's a very good judge of character."

"We'll talk to him tomorrow then and see how he feels." I answered. "And the rest of the problems…..?"

"Let's just face them one at a time." Ben replied. "There's no point in us worrying about something that may never happen."

"You mean once he's told her everything, she may disappear from his life?"

"Yeah…..I hope that doesn't happen…especially as he seems to have such strong feelings about her after such a short time." Ben said. "But either way he needs to know that he can come to us whenever he needs to talk."

I moved slightly then sat up, resting on my elbow as I looked down at Ben. There was just one thing I needed to say before we finished this conversation.

"What happens if he tells her, and she's fine with it, but when it comes to that actual moment she…."

"Can't go through with it?" Ben finished my sentence for me.

I nodded, dropping my eyes, but Ben lifted my face, tracing his fingers down my cheek.

"Michael, what happened between us on that night is just one small part of our lives. I know you still think about it, and I wished you wouldn't. You were scared, and you were also influenced by other people but in the end….."

"My heart made the right decision for me." This time I interrupted him. "So maybe it will be the same for them?"

"If it's meant to be – yes." Ben replied.

"But then again perhaps it was my cock that made the decision for me, because you were, and still are, the hottest guy I have ever seen." I tried to keep a straight face as I spoke but failed miserably as Ben's laughter rang out around the room. I leaned down, silencing him with a kiss and felt myself being pulled on top of him, his hands caressing my back, and I let out a contented sigh as he flipped me onto my back and rained light kisses over my chest.

"I just want him to have what we have." My voice seemed to come from nowhere, and Ben stopped and looked up at me.

"Have I told you how much I love you Michael Novotny-Bruckner!" Ben said, his voice husky with emotion.

My heart did a flip-flop at the naked love shining from his eyes, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly. After a few moments he moved, pulling me with him and wrapped his body around mine, and my last thoughts before I drifted off to sleep were if Hunter was lucky enough to find anything near what Ben and I had, he would be luckiest kid in the world. I wouldn't tell Ben yet, but I kinda hoped Amanda was the one to give it to him.

Hunter was sitting at the table eating breakfast when Ben and I came down stairs the next morning. He gave us his usual mumbled 'good morning,' his eyes meeting mine, and I could clearly read the question in them. I gave him a slight nod of my head and received a silent 'thanks' from him.

I headed into the kitchen, flicking on the coffee maker as Ben made a protein shake before walking to the table and sitting next to Hunter. I watched them for a few minutes, their heads close together, and I knew Ben would be offering him some wise words.

Hunter's 'tonight?' floated through to the kitchen, and they both turned to me and I nodded in response. A smile crossed Hunter's face as he grabbed his cell from his pocket and wandered into the living room.

I finished making the coffees and carried them to the table, sitting next to Ben.

"Well?" I asked, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"He's ok." Ben answered. "And he wants her to meet us before he tells her anything."

"Perhaps he wants her to see that a pos/neg relationship can work….and yes I know, it's slightly different for us…but still…."

"You're probably right." Ben answered, reaching for his coffee, taking a mouthful before continuing. "I think we just need to let him decide how he wants to handle the whole thing. He knows he can come to either of us when he needs to, and as long as the lines of communication are kept open, and he doesn't think we are trying to sway him one way or another."

"I have to admit I'm looking forward to meeting this Amanda!" I said and received a grin from Ben in response.

"So am I, baby." Ben answered, leaning in and dropping a kiss on my mouth.

"Christ can't you two at least wait till I've gone!" Hunter stated, walking back into the room, shaking his head.

I ignored the remark for once, more intent on finding out the outcome of the phone call.

"Well?"

"She said yes and said to thank you both for inviting her." The smile on Hunter's face said it all, and I reached under the table for Ben's hand, wrapping my fingers in his.

"But there's just one thing you both have to promise me…..well, two actually!" Hunter said, crossing his arms in front of him a determined look on his face.

"And what exactly would they be?" Ben asked.

"Ben has to cook dinner…" He looked pointedly at me. "And you have to behave, no farting, no rude comments, no necking on the couch….."

"Would we do any of those?" I said innocently, looking at Ben, who was having a hard time trying to keep the smile off his face.

"Don't worry Pal, we promise we won't embarrass you." Ben assured him, jumping slightly as I ran my hand along the inside of his leg, my fingers circling the bugle in his jeans. I let out an 'ouch' when Ben's hand grabbed mine, gripping it tightly.

"Christ…what did I do to deserve parents like you!" Hunter exclaimed.

"Just lucky I guess." I replied, laughing at the look of horror on his face.

He picked up his bag muttering something about 'get a room' as he walked towards the door, stopping and looking back at us.

"Behave!" He said; a stern look on his face before he walked out the door.

I rested my head on Ben's shoulder my laugher bubbling over.

"Somehow I think if Amanda survives dinner tonight, everything else will be a breeze." Ben said laughing and I could only nod in response.


	3. Chapter 3

Coming Of Age

Part Three – Meetings

I had hoped to get home early, but a steady stream of customers during the afternoon meant that it was after five when I closed the shop. I stopped at the bakery to get the fresh bread Ben had requested, and by the time I reached home I was tired and hungry.

Hunter had phoned during the day to tell me he and Amanda were studying in the library after class and probably wouldn't be home till after six which gave me enough time to shower and make sure the house was clean before they arrived.

When I opened the door, the aromas from the kitchen did nothing to alleviate my hunger pains. I hung up my coat and headed to the kitchen to find Ben putting whatever smelled so damn good in the oven.

"Sorry I'm late." I said, dropping the bread on the counter before walking over to him. He gave me a quick kiss before turning back to the stove.

"It's okay, baby, everything is under control. Why don't you go shower, and I'll clean up in here." He answered.

"What did you decide to cook?" I asked, managing a quick peek in the oven before he slapped my hands away.

"Spinach and ricotta manicotti and apple pie for dessert." He replied. "No health food to be seen, which I know will please Hunter."

"Nothing wrong with health food, in moderation." I answered with a smile on my face.

"Moderation is good." Ben retorted. "Except in some things!"

I laughed as he pulled me into his arms, covering my mouth in a deep kiss. I threaded my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer so I could rub my body against his.

I moaned when our mouths parted, and he pushed me away.

"Go shower!" He said, flicking my ass with the dish-towel he was holding. "They'll be here soon, and I think Hunter would be slightly embarrassed if they found us in a comprising position…remember what we promised him."

"No necking on the couch!" I answered. "He didn't say anything about a quickie in the kitchen though!"

I gave him a quick kiss coupled with even a quicker feel before escaping the kitchen, his laughter ringing in my ears as I ran up stairs, grabbing some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom.

By the time I made it back downstairs, Ben had cleaned the kitchen and finished setting the table. I glanced at the clock and at that moment, I heard a key in the lock and looked up to see Hunter walking in the door, talking non-stop. He stopped mid-sentence when he saw me, and I saw him reach out and take the hand of the girl who was a step behind him.

"What's for dinner, I'm starving!" He said, dropping his bag inside the door.

I walked towards them, ignoring him and stopping in front of the pretty dark-haired girl standing next to him.

"As always, Hunter's mind is on food and not his manners" I said "I'm Michael."

I ignored the glare from Hunter and instead concentrated on Amanda. She was as pretty as Hunter had told me, and I could understand what he felt for her. She had a fresh, wholesome look about her, and when she smiled, her whole face lit up.

"I'm Amanda; it's nice to meet you, and thank you for inviting me to dinner." She replied.

I turned to Hunter "Why don't you show Amanda around while I find Ben and see if dinner is nearly ready." I suggested.

"Choice!" He replied. "Come on, I'll show you my room."

I watched as they ran up stairs and wandered to the kitchen, finding Ben taking the salad from the fridge. He looked up when I walked in the door.

"Well?" He asked.

"She's great. I can see why Hunter likes her. You know when you meet someone you just get a good feeling about them?" I said. "Well, there's just something about her, I don't know if it's the way she obviously cares for Hunter or what but if anything does come of their relationship I think she would be a wonderful addition to our family."

He nodded, handing me the salad "Go put this on the table, and I'll get everything else so we can eat and get to know her better." He answered. "And by the sounds of it, I don't think they need you to play matchmaker."

"Would I do that?" I said innocently and received a raised eyebrow look from Ben. I laughed before continuing "Hunter's showing her around, well at least his bedroom, which by the way he had better have cleaned up!"

"Somehow I doubt that would have happened." Ben laughed, opening the oven and lifting out the manicotti. "Have you ever known Hunter to clean his room without us standing over him."

"That's true." I replied, walking into the dining room, putting the salad in the middle of the table before returning to the kitchen and taking a bottle of wine from the fridge as well as a pitcher of ice water.

"You want me to call them for dinner?" I asked Ben who nodded in reply. I headed upstairs to find them standing on the landing looking at photos we had put up recently.

They both turned when they heard me.

"Your daughter is adorable." Amanda said, pointing at the latest photo of JR the girls had sent us.

"I think so too, but then I'm kinda biased." I replied.

"Do you get to see her often?" Amanda asked as we walked downstairs.

"Ben and I try to visit once a month, and I call her every evening to say goodnight" I replied "And we are having her for the Christmas this year." I couldn't stop a wide smile crossing my face as that thought.

"How wonderful!" Amanda replied "Christmas is extra special when children are around."

"Do you have brothers or sisters?" I asked her.

"No, I'm an only child." She replied, and I noticed a slight wistful note in her voice. "I love kids which is why I am studying to be an elementary teacher."

Another mark in her favor, I decided, thinking that would impress Ben immediately, and I could see where some of the dinner talk would be heading.

Ben came from the kitchen as we entered the room and walked towards Amanda.

"Hello Amanda, I'm Ben, Hunter's other Dad." He smiled at her.

"Nice to meet you." She replied, shaking his outstretched hand. "You have a lovely home."

"Thank you." Ben replied as we all took our places at the table.

Conversation during dinner was lively, Ben and Amanda soon into a discussion about college and teaching, while Hunter wolfed down his food as if it was his last meal. He was keeping a wary eye on everyone, but I noticed his gaze lingered on Amanda when ever she spoke.

I knew Hunter must have filled her in about us when she turned to me and asked about my Comic Book Store.

"Christ don't get him started!" Hunter moaned but Amanda ignored him and I could see him shaking his head as we debated Superman versus Spiderman.

"Get Hunter to bring you to the store one day." I told her.

She turned to Hunter looking at him questionably

"Guess I could stand an hour there." He said begrudgingly but I noticed the indulgent look he gave her.

I helped Ben clear the table and was about to bring out the dessert when there was a knock at the door. I looked at Ben who shrugged, visitors in the evening was a rare occurrence for us. I put down the plates and walked over and opened the door.

"Ma! What are you doing here?" I could tell by the look on her face it wasn't the welcome she was expecting.

"What! I can't visit my son occasionally?" She replied, pushing past me and walking inside. I closed the door behind her and sighed, turning to her, but she had already walked into the living room.

"Debbie! What a nice surprise." I heard Ben say, standing and giving her a peck on the cheek, his eyes meeting mine over her shoulder. The silent message of 'keep calm' clear in his eyes. The patience he had with my mother never ceased to amaze me.

"We're about to have dessert, would you like to join us?" He continued.

"Don't mind if I do." She replied, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "Carl's on late shift so I thought I'd come for a visit."

She turned to Hunter about to say something when she noticed Amanda sitting next to him.

"So who's this adorable child?" She asked loudly. Hunter looked like he wanted to dig a hole and climb into it. "You keeping secrets from your Grandma?" She scowled at him before turning to Amanda.

"I'm Debbie, Michael's mother and you are?" I could almost feel Hunter cringe from across the table, but Amanda didn't seem affronted by the direct approach from Ma.

"I'm Amanda, a friend of Hunter's." She replied. "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Novotny, Hunter has spoken of you often."

"He has?" Ma gave Hunter a quick look, and I noticed a slight flush on his face. "I can only imagine what he's told you."

"Oh no!" Amanda said hurriedly. "He's told me that you love to cook and make the best ziti ever, and he also said that you helped convince him to stay in Pittsburgh when he came back a couple of years ago."

I looked at Hunter, his face turning bright red and gave him a reassuring smile, thinking he's obviously told Amanda a lot more than I thought about his life if he'd mentioned the bombing and aftermath, but obviously not why he'd left in the first place.

I still hoped that he would tell her everything, sooner rather than later, because just telling parts of a story can make life complicated, and I was also worried that Ma may say something out of line. With that thought on my mind I turned to her.

"Ma, you want to help me with dessert?" I asked, standing and walking to the kitchen.

She stood and followed me to the kitchen.

"Why didn't you tell me Hunter had a girlfriend?" She demanded as she took the apple pie from the oven.

"Because we only just found out ourselves!" I answered "And keep your voice down."

"Don't you….."

I held up my hand, silencing her. "Hunter hasn't told her about a lot of things." I told her quietly "And I just don't want you to…."

"Shoot my mouth off?" She replied, a smile twitching at her lips.

"Yeah something like that." I replied returning her smile.

"Don't worry, sometimes I do know when to keep my mouth shut." She answered. "He's a good kid; he deserves someone special in his life."

"I agree but Ben and I are just worried it's all happening so fast, and he's still young…"

"What's age got to do with it!" She said loudly, then lowered her voice. "You were over thirty when you met Ben and look how fucking long I had to wait to find Carl…mind you, he makes me feel like a sixteen year old when we're….."

"Mother!" I said.

"What?" She exclaimed. "Since when did you become such a prude…I do have a life now you know."

"And there are some parts of it I just don't want to hear about." I answered.

"Well anyway…where was I…oh yes…Hunter." She carried on as if I hadn't spoken. "Sunshine was only seventeen when he met Brian and who would have thought that would have lasted but it did, and I like this Amanda."

"So do I. But there are some major hurdles to get through before you start planning their wedding." I said.

The word wedding was a bad choice, I knew the moment I said it. I could see her mind working, already having them married and setting up home together. I shook my head and wondered if Amanda knew what she would be getting into with our family if they decided to make a go of it.

"Hey, we're hungry out here!" Hunter's voice broke my thoughts, and I took the pie from Ma and walked back into the living room.

"Sorry!" I said, putting it on the table, reaching for a knife and cutting it into pieces.

Ma sat down and conversation started again, all of us talking at once, Amanda seemingly able to keep up with everything, which was another mark in her favor.

By the time the table was cleared and Ma had decided to head home, with a promise from Hunter that he would bring Amanda to visit, I was happy to sit back and relax.

I could tell that Hunter wanted some time alone with Amanda before she had to go home so took pity on him and shooed them off to his room.

I tucked my legs under me and snuggled up to Ben on the sofa.

"That went well….even with the unexpected interruption from Ma." I said, looking up at Ben.

"Yeah, I think so too. And your Mother was very well behaved, but somehow I think you had something to do with that." Ben said.

"Ma listening to anything I had to say would be a first." I laughed. "But yes, I did let her know that some topics were off limits."

"Thought so!" Ben replied, lifting my chin and kissing me. "But I like Amanda, and I think she would be good for Hunter."

I nodded, but the thought of her rejecting him because of his past was still a major concern for me. I was about to mention that when Hunter and Amanda came downstairs, and I untangled myself from Ben and sat up.

"Amanda's car broke down the other day so her Mom's coming to get her." Hunter said and at that moment there was a knock at the door. We both stood and Ben walked over to answer it.

"I've come to pick up Amanda." A woman's voice came from the outside.

"Come in…I'm Ben, Hunter's father and this is my husband Michael." Ben said, putting his arm around my waist.

"Nice to meet you." She replied, but I could tell by the tone of her voice how insincere her words were. I glanced at Hunter who had a protective arm around Amanda, and I noticed a look of defiance on both their faces.

"Amanda are you ready?" She asked.

"Sure Mom." Amanda replied, the smile on her face not reaching her eyes. She leant in, saying something to Hunter before turning to us.

"Thank you for dinner, I had a lovely time." She said, and this time her smile was genuine.

"Our pleasure, Amanda, and I hope you can come again soon." I answered as she walked towards the door, her last look at Hunter before they disappeared from sight.

"Her mother's a fucking bitch!" Hunter said and stormed off up stairs.

I went to go after him, but Ben held me back.

"Leave him Michael, it's late. We'll talk to him in the morning."

I sighed and slipped my hand into Ben's.

"I think there may be more problems ahead than we imagined." I said sadly, remembering the look on Amanda's mother's face.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four - CONVERSATIONS

Ben and Hunter had both left when I finally came downstairs the next morning. I hadn't slept well, Ben finally getting fed up with my tossing and turning in the early hours and telling me to _'stop worrying and go to sleep!' _ Easy enough for him to say! I knew he was worrying as well; the only difference was he was better at hiding it than me.

I walked into the kitchen, poured myself a coffee and then wandered into the dining room to find a note on the table from Hunter saying that he and Amanda were going to the movies tonight, and he'd be late home.

Damn! I really wanted to talk to him about Amanda's mother. I'd liked Amanda instantly, and although I'd only spent a matter of minutes in her mother's company, I knew that my feelings about her were the complete opposite. Once again I felt like we were being judged because of our sexuality instead of who we were. Amanda had said very little about her home life during dinner, and I wondered if there was a father in the picture, I got the feeling there wasn't, and I also felt that her mother not only didn't approve of us, but of Hunter as well.

After all the shit we'd been through with Callie's parents, all I could hope was that Hunter, now he was a few years older, could handle it. Somehow I thought this time he would, and his protectiveness towards Amanda was obvious.

I glanced at the clock and realized that once again I was going to be late opening the store and headed off in a hurry, making a mental note to text Hunter later to see if everything was okay.

The morning flew by, a new shipment had arrived, and I was busy trying to sort that out when the door opened. My face lit up when I saw Ben standing there.

"What you doing here?" I asked, putting down the comics and walking over to him.

"I have an hour between classes and thought I'd take you to lunch." He answered. "What would you like to eat?"

"Apart from you?" I said, grinning.

I found myself being pulled into his arms and kissed deeply.

"You'll have to wait until tonight for dessert." He answered when our mouths parted. "And we need to talk."

"Hunter?" I asked, as I reached for my jacket, turned the sign on the door to Closed and followed Ben onto the street.

"Yeah." He replied as I slipped my arm through his. "But let's find somewhere to eat first. How about Chinese?"

"Sure." I replied and we headed to a small restaurant that was a favorite of ours. It wasn't very busy, so we found a quiet table near the back. After our order was taken, I sat back waiting to hear what Ben had to say.

"I talked to Hunter before he left this morning. About last night and Amanda's mother."

"And?"

"She is dead set against their relationship. She wants Amanda to concentrate on her education and believes Hunter is a distraction. Hunter said she and Amanda had an argument the day before when she told Amanda she wasn't to see him any more, and Amanda apparently said, and I quote Hunter here _'I'm nineteen not fourteen and am quite capable of making my own decisions.' _

"I can imagine how well that went over." I replied as the waitress bought us our meals.

"Me too." Ben replied, absently playing with his food. "But it gets worse."

"Why doesn't that surprise me!" I answered, taking a mouthful of food.

"Hunter was there the other day after school and overheard her on the phone telling someone about _'this scruffy kid that Amanda was seeing, who lived with a couple of queers, and they were not the sort of people she wanted her daughter associating with and she hated to think what sort of lifestyle they led'_." Ben said, taking a sip of water before continuing. "Apparently Hunter was ready to storm in and let her have it, but Amanda managed to stop him."

"I told you I liked Amanda." I answered, trying to lighten the mood before continuing seriously. "She doesn't even know us; or Hunter for that matter, and surely she can see how much her daughter cares for Hunter, why would any parent carry on like that. All she is doing is pushing Amanda further away."

"I agree, baby." Ben answered, glancing at his watch before tackling his food.

"And what happens if she finds out about his HIV?" I asked. "If she doesn't like him now, that will be the end of any hopes of Amanda getting any support from her. And did you ask Hunter about Amanda's father?"

"Apparently he walked out on them about five years ago." Ben replied. "Amanda has intermittent contact with him, but her mother has completely wiped all traces of him from their home."

Considering her home life, my respect for Amanda was growing by the minute, and it gave me hope that when Hunter told her everything, she would at least listen and try to understand what his life had been like back then, that everything he'd done had not been of his own making but more for a need to survive. My mother may drive me insane at times, but at least I knew she loved me. I shook off my thoughts as Ben spoke.

"As we've said from the beginning all we can do is be there for Hunter, and for Amanda, if she wants us to be, and see what happens." Ben said, looking at his watch again. "Now I have to get back to college."

I finished my last mouthful of food before speaking.

"Is it wrong that I'd like to see them make a go of it?" I asked Ben. "I know all the arguments against it…they need to finish college, they're young, there are issues they both have to face….but somehow they just seem so damn right for each other."

Ben leant over the table, his lips meeting mine for a snatched kiss.

"Ever the romantic!" He said, as he stood pulling on his jacket. "And no, there's nothing wrong with it all. Just don't get your hopes up yet."

"I know." I replied as I followed him out the restaurant, stopping on the footpath.

"Since Hunter won't be home till late tonight, how about we have a romantic evening of our own?" I suggested.

"Mmmm…..what exactly did you have in mind?" Ben asked, a wicked grin crossing his face.

"I'm sure I can come up with something!" I answered, standing on tip-toe to kiss him. "See you tonight. I love you."

"I know." Ben replied with a wink and turned heading off in the opposite direction.

I walked slowly back to the store, our conversation going through my mind. Everything from now hinged on Amanda's reaction when Hunter talked to her. Once again I hoped it would be soon, because the deeper they became involved, the harder the rejection, if it happened, would be for Hunter.

I managed to get away from the store at five. It looked like rain so I quickly stopped at the market to pick up something for dinner and had just walked in the door when the phone rang. I picked it up to be greeted by giggles and settled down for my nightly chat with JR, which mainly consisted of me talking and her giggling. I had just hung up when Ben walked in the door.

"You look tired!" I said frowning.

"Stop fussing Michael, I'm fine." He replied, as three sneezes escaped making a lie of that statement.

"You've got a cold!" I answered.

"I got caught in a heavy shower of rain on the way home that's all." He replied. "What's for dinner?"

I glared at him, his changing the subject not working on me at all.

"Get out of those wet clothes and take a hot shower." I said, pushing him towards the stairs.

"Michael….."

"Do it!" The tone of my voice broke no argument.

He realized there was no point arguing, and I watched him head upstairs, hearing more sneezes before he reached the landing.

I went to the kitchen and put some chicken pieces into the oven before throwing a salad together and headed upstairs to find Ben.

The sound of sneezing led me to the bedroom, and I found him sitting on the side of the bed.

"Bed now!" I told him walking over and pulling back the covers.

"Michael I told you to….."

"Stop fussing! Yeah I know, and I told you to get into bed." I answered.

I heard him sigh, and he finally moved and climbed under the covers without any further argument.

"You taken your meds?"

"Yes."

"Good. Do you want anything to eat?"

"No, thanks." He replied.

"Because I cooked, or because you're not hungry?" I asked, a smile twitching at my lips.

He cocked his head to one side looking up at me.

"I love your cooking, baby." He answered an innocent look on his face.

"Of course you do." I replied grinning at him. "As long as it doesn't include anything more than opening a can or box."

He reached out and pulled me onto the bed.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" He said, running his fingers down my cheek. I reached for his hand and threaded my fingers through his.

"Yes, but I don't mind hearing it again." I answered. "And tomorrow when you're feeling better, you can show me exactly how much you love me."

"I'm sorry I've ruined your romantic evening." He said. "But I promise to….."

His words were cut off as he started to cough, and I frowned at him.

"Enough talking. I'm going to make you some hot tea, and then you're going to sleep and if you're still like this in the morning, you're not going to classes."

"Michael stop making a big deal, it's just…."

"A cold!" I finished the sentence for him. "And if that's all it is fine, but you know I worry."

"Guess you had to inherit something from your Mother seeing you missed out on her cooking skills." He answered, diving under the covers before I could punch him.

I climbed off the bed shaking my head. "It's just lucky for you that you're sick otherwise you would pay for that comment."

I could hear his laughter from under the covers as I left the bedroom and went downstairs.

I checked on the chicken before turning on the kettle and making hot tea for Ben. I carried it upstairs and placed it on the bedside table. He was already asleep, and I reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair from his face, and dropped a light kiss on his head. His eyes fluttered briefly before he drifted back to sleep. I stood there watching him for a few minutes trying not to let my worries about his health overtake me before going downstairs and dishing up my dinner. I settled with it, in front of the TV, my thoughts still on Ben and not the program in front of me.

After cleaning up I decided I would sleep in the spare room so as not to disturb Ben and after a quick clean up, was about to head to bed when the door opened and Hunter and Amanda walked in.

"Amanda got her car fixed today so she dropped me off." Hunter said.

"How was the movie?" I asked.

"Wonderful." Amanda said.

I noticed the look on Hunter's face.

"What did you see?"

"PS I Love You." Hunter replied, rolling his eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"If Ben can sit through Spiderman six times for me, I'm sure you can cope with the occasional chick flick" I answered.

Amanda turned from me to Hunter.

"You said you wanted to see it." She said.

"Of course I did!" Hunter replied not very convincingly.

"You mean you watched it because I wanted to?" Amanda asked.

I noticed a blush crossing Hunter's face.

"I guess." He replied, dropping his head.

"Oh Hunter, that's so sweet." She answered leaning in a giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Next time we'll see something you want ok?"

I felt like I was intruding so decided to leave them alone.

"I'm off to bed." I said, and they turned their attention back to me.

"Where's Ben?" Hunter asked.

"He wasn't feeling well and went to bed as soon as he got home from college." I replied, and saw a worried look cross Hunter's face.

"His meds?" Hunter asked.

"No, a cold and cough. I'm sure he'll be fine tomorrow." I replied in a positive way but could tell Hunter wasn't fooled.

I could see Amanda following this conversation with interest and decided to leave before it became awkward.

"I'm off, make sure you lock up." I said, then turned to Amanda. "It was great to see you again, make Hunter bring you for dinner again soon."

"Thank you, I'd like that, and I'd better get home." She replied, looking at Hunter who nodded in reply.

I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and leave them to say their goodnights. When I walked back, Hunter was at the bottom of the stairs and he stopped, waiting for me.

"I'm going to tell her everything tomorrow." He said, a determined look on his face.

"I think that's a very wise decision." I replied, dropping my arm over his shoulder as we walked upstairs together.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five – Confessions

**NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS COMPLETELY WRITTEN FROM HUNTER'S POV**

Michael was sitting at the table when I walked downstairs in the morning. I'd heard Ben coughing during the night, and Michael walking across the landing between the spare room and theirs on a regular basis. He looked up when I walked in the room, and I could tell he hadn't slept much.

"How's Ben?" I asked pouring myself a juice.

"Sleeping. He didn't have a good night." Michael replied. "I've called the school to say he won't be in, and if he's no better when he wakes up, I'm taking him to the doctor."

"He'll be okay." I replied trying to ease some of Michael's worries. "But call me later?"

"Sure." Michael replied, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere.

I try to imagine what it's like for him, having a husband and son who are positive. He's not good at hiding his emotions, and I've caught him watching Ben with a haunted look in his eyes on more than one occasion. I honestly wonder how he would cope if he lost him.

I know he worries about me as well, but so far I've been healthy. I just keep popping those pills and try to forget all about it. Until now that is. Now it's the most important thing in my life. How do you tell the girl you love that you have something inside of you that will impact so many parts of your life? How will she react? Disgusted, scared or sympathetic until she learns how I got it. Will she be understanding and concerned until she actually thinks about it, and then realizes what our lives would be like.

Michael's voice brings me back to the present, and I concentrate, glad to push those thoughts from my head.

"You seeing Amanda today?" He asked.

"Yeah. She doesn't have classes this afternoon so we're meeting for lunch."

"You've got classes haven't you?"

I shrugged. "Yeah but….."

"Hunter, cutting classes is not good."

"I know, and I promise I'll make them up." I replied. "I don't want to talk to her here, especially with Ben sick and of course there's no fucking way I'm going to her place with her bitch of a mother there."

I could see Michael thinking about this and eventually he nodded.

"Okay, as long as you make up the classes." He replied. "And Hunter…."

"What?"

"Good luck." Michael stood, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a tight hug. "I know how tough this will be for you, and no matter what the outcome, you are doing the right thing."

I pulled away and looked at him the concern in his eyes clear to see.

"I'll be okay." I answered not wanting to burden him with any more worries at the moment. "Have to go now….don't forget to call me about Ben. and try not to worry too much about him okay."

A small smile crossed his face, but he wasn't fooling me. He wouldn't stop worrying about either of us, and I felt an enormous amount of love for him. He and Ben had shown me that no matter what obstacles were put in your way, that if you loved each other, everything could be overcome. I held onto that thought as I grabbed my bag and walked out the door.

The morning classes dragged, and I was grateful when they let us out. I left the classroom quickly and headed off to meet Amanda.

She was waiting for me in our usual meeting place, a wide smile crossing her face as she bounded up to me, slipping her hand into mine. I pulled her to me, hugging her tightly.

"How's your Dad this morning?" She asked as we found a shady place and dropped to the ground.

"Huh?"

"Last night…remember…Michael said he wasn't well."

I realized then that I hadn't heard from Michael and made a mental note to call him. I just hoped it didn't mean Ben had gotten worse. "He was asleep when I left this morning. Michael's taking him to the doctor if he wasn't any better when he woke up."

"I'm sorry." She replied. "Is he…..I mean it's none of my business…but you said something about his meds……"

The look on her face told me she was more concerned than just being nosy, and I wondered if Ben would mind if I used him to start this confession of mine. Somehow I didn't think he would.

"Have you heard of HIV?" I asked.

"Of course." She replied, a frown crossing her face. "You mean that Ben is…"

"HIV positive?" I replied, watching her face for a reaction.

She sat quietly for a minute before looking at me.

"That's awful. Does Michael have it to?"

"No he's negative."

I could tell she was thinking about this and she finally spoke.

"I can't imagine how he handles that."

"He takes meds every day, and he's also into yoga and meditation, which he says helps."

"No, I meant Michael. I mean I've only met your Dads a couple of times, but I can see how much they love each other, it must be so hard for him."

I couldn't believe her words, that thinking about Michael was her first thought, and I had a glimmer of hope that things might not be as bad as I thought when I told her.

"He worries. A lot!" I replied. "Not long after they met, Ben got pancreatitis and almost died. Ever since then Michael fusses, which drives Ben insane, but he puts up with it."

"I'm not surprised. I just can't imagine how hard it is for both of them. I mean I don't know a lot about it except what we learnt in Sex Educationbut I guess living with something like that would be a real test in any relationship."

"I have it too!" I blurted out and jumped to my feet looking down at her. Her eyes were full of confusion, and I started to walk away not waiting for her response.

"Hunter, wait!" I heard her call out, but I kept walking.

"HUNTER!" She all but screamed, and I turned around. She stopped in front of me.

"Why did you walk away?" She asked; a catch in her voice.

I shrugged not trusting myself to speak.

"We need to talk." She said, reaching for my hand and pulling me the ground.

"How did you get it?" She asked quietly.

I looked at her and wondered if I could really tell her. I didn't think she was naïve exactly, but I knew the world I had once lived in was something she would know nothing about. But as I told Michael, she deserved the truth.

"You remember I told you about my bitch of a mother…."

"We both seem to have problems with our bitch mothers" She said sadly, moving closer to me.

"Your mother would win Mother Of The Year compared to mine." I answered, and she must have picked up the anger in my voice because she took my hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Tell me Hunter."

I hesitated, wondering if I could find the right words.

"When I was growing up, she was always drunk or drugged. We lived on welfare, and she 'entertained' all these guys to make extra money. Then she said I had to start contributing to the household."

"She made you sell drugs?"

"No." I replied, wishing it had been as easy as that. "She…..she brought these men to our apartment and made me…."

I moved away from her slightly, as if my words would some how make her feel dirty, but she pulled me back towards her.

"Hunter you can tell me." She said quietly, her eyes watching me closely

"She made me do things to them and let them do things to me."

"You mean have sex with them?"

I dropped my head not wanting to see the disgust in her eyes, but she lifted my chin, and I met her eyes, and I could see that they were full of pain.

"Yeah."

"How old were you?"

"Thirteen." I answered, then decided I may as well get the rest out before my courage deserted me. "I ran away a year later, but got caught sleeping on the street one night and ended up in a foster home. It was almost as bad as living with her so I took off and ended up on Liberty Avenue."

"How could a mother do that?" She asked shaking her head, and I could see her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"You don't know my mother." I replied, and if I have my way you never will I thought to myself.

"You told me you lived on the streets, how did you support yourself?" She asked, but I could tell by the way she looked at me she knew what the answer would be.

"I hustled." I answered.

"And that's how you got it?"

"Must have been. Guess I'll never know for sure."

I saw her shiver as the sun disappeared behind a cloud, and I took my jacket off, wrapping it around her shoulders. She gave me a small smile and I felt a bit more confident, and decided it was time to tell her the rest.

"There's other things you need to know." I said hesitantly.

"Like what?" She asked, that confused look on her face again.

"You need to know that……" I began only to be interrupted by the ringing of my cell.

I gave her an apologetic look and flicked it open, seeing Michael's name on the caller ID.

"Hunter?"

I knew immediately from the sound of Michael's voice that something was wrong.

"Is Ben ok?" I asked, and I could hear the shake in my voice.

"He's in the hospital. I'm there now, can you come please."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six – Worries

I looked up when I heard footsteps approaching to see Hunter almost running down the hallway. He slowed when a nurse walked passed then sped up again as soon as she was out of sight.

"What happened?" He asked, coming to a stop in front of me before dropping onto the chair next to me.

"When he woke up he was struggling to breathe and couldn't stop coughing. I called his doctor, and they told me to get him here as fast as I could." I replied, the shake in my voice even audible to me.

"Why aren't you with him?" Hunter asked.

"Usual shit." I replied, unable to keep the anger out of my voice. "I forgot to grab the power of attorney before I left and had to call Ma to go around and get it and bring it to me."

"Assholes!" Hunter replied, slouching deeper into the chair.

I shrugged knowing there was nothing I could do about it but still angry that I was missing this time with him.

"What did the doctor say?" Hunter asked interrupting my thoughts.

"They think he may have pneumonia." I heard my voice break slightly as I spoke.

"Shit!" Hunter replied. "It's not fucking fair. He does everything right…"

"And maybe if I'd taken him to the doctor last night he wouldn't be here."

"That's crap, and you know it." Hunter snapped.

"What if he…." I couldn't even say the word.

"That's not going to happen!" Hunter replied adamantly.

I turned to look at him and noticed a glimmer of fear in his eyes. I immediately regretted my words and put my arm over his shoulder pulling him closer.

"You're right." I answered. "I just want the doctor to come out and tell me what's happening."

We sat, each lost in our own thoughts for what seemed like forever until the door opened, and the doctor walked out. I jumped to my feet, catching a glimpse of Ben before the door swung shut.

"Mr. Novotny?"

"Novotny-Bruckner." I replied holding his gaze.

He nodded and looked at his notes before turning his attention back to me.

"Mr. Bruckner has bacterial pneumonia. We've put him on a intravenous drip of a betalactam antibiotic and dorycycline.We've also managed to get his temperature down significantly."

"Can I see him now?" I asked, pulling the papers I needed from my coat pocket and passing them to him.

He cast his eyes over them before handing them back.

"He's sleeping at the moment." He replied. "I don't expect to see any change before tomorrow morning. Are you planning on staying the night?"

"Of course I fuc….."

I felt Hunter's hand on my arm and took a deep breath before continuing.

"Yes. That's not a problem is it?" I asked, my eyes meeting his, almost daring him to say no, and I felt Hunter tense beside me.

"I'll arrange for an orderly to bring you a blanket." The doctor replied. "And I will be back in a few hours to check on him."

I nodded my thanks and turned to Hunter beckoning him to follow me. I was about to push open the door when the doctor spoke.

"I'm sorry, but the rule is one visitor at a time."

"This is Hunter, our son. Legally. Actually he is Ben's next of kin, and doesn't need a piece of paper to prove it." I stated, trying hard to keep calm. "If you or the hospital have a problem with that do what you want. But I am going to see my husband."

I pushed Hunter in front of me, and we walked into Ben's room.

I walked over to the bed, bending down and kissing him on the forehead, letting my lips linger against his skin before sitting and reaching for his hand, careful not to disturb the tubes, and squeezing it tightly. I felt a slight response and let out a sigh. He knew I was here, that's all that mattered at the moment.

I sat back, trying to relax as my fingers played absently with his wedding ring, willing him to open his eyes, even just for a moment, but he didn't stir.

Hunter wandered around the small room before grabbing a chair and pulling it next to mine.

"He's going to be alright." Hunter said, but it was more like a statement to himself than a question.

I looked at him, struggling to put a smile on my face and just nodded. I hated hospitals. I hated the over-heated rooms, the lighting which gave a false impression of brightness and normalcy, the sounds of the machines that filled every spare inch of space in the rooms with grime covered windows and chairs which were not made to sit in, let alone sleep in. The thoughts that always filled my mind whenever I was here terrified me. No matter what Ben did this fucking disease had to have the last word, never letting us forget the tenuous hold that Ben had on life.

I rubbed my hand over my eyes, determined not to let my tears fall and jumped when I felt Hunter's hand reach for mine.

"Dad, don't. He'll be okay."

He didn't call me Dad often, and it was almost my undoing but I took a deep breath and composed myself before speaking.

"I know." I replied, trying to convince myself but knowing that until his eyes opened, and I heard his voice, I wouldn't leave his room.

"Do you want a drink" Hunter's voice startled me, and I looked at him, realizing he was itching to leave, not because he didn't want to be with Ben, but because he was thinking that this could be what he had to look forward to in his future.

"Yeah, that would be good." I replied, pulling some money from my pocket and handing it to him.

"I won't be long." He replied and quietly left the room.

The stuffiness of the room was starting to get to me so I removed my coat and settled back in the chair, entwining my fingers through Ben's. This time there was no response, and I focused on the rise and fall of his chest, ignoring the beeps of the machines that surrounded him.

The door opened and I looked up, expecting to see Hunter, but a nurse walked in carrying a pillow and blanket and put them on the chair next to me.

"I need to take Mr Bruckner's temperature and blood pressure." She said and I nodded, reluctantly letting go of his hand but not moving.

I closed my eyes for a moment, having seen all this too many times before, only opening them when I heard her pen scratching notes on a clipboard.

"All done." She smiled at me as I reached out tracing my fingers down Ben's face.

I gave her a smile in return, and she moved silently from the room, and I settled once again back in my chair.

It took me a while to realize that Hunter was taking a long time and wondered where he had disappeared to when the door opened and he walked in, carrying two cans of soda.

"Sorry." He said, passing me one. "I had to call Amanda. She wanted to know how Ben was."

Fuck! I'd forgotten he was going to talk to her today.

"Did you talk to her?" I asked, taking a sip of the ice cold drink.

"Kinda." He replied.

I waited patiently for him to tell me more.

"I told her I had it." He said.

"And….?"

"She asked some questions, like how I got it." He answered.

"You told her?"

"Yeah. She was shocked of course. Not that I had it, but what my mother made me do. Once she got over that she seemed to be okay with it. Well at the time she was, maybe when she thinks more about it, she may change her mind."

"Somehow I don't think so." I replied and received a tentative smile from him.

"You think?" I could hear the hope in his voice.

"I'm sure she will think about it and probably have a lot more questions for you." I responded. "And it's up to you how much you tell her."

"I've told her the worst part I guess, and if she can handle that, maybe she will be okay with the rest."

"Somehow I think she will be." I answered and this time the smile I received was much brighter. "When are you seeing her again?"

"I told her I'd call her in the morning." He replied. "She has chores to do on a Saturday morning, but said she would meet me in the afternoon. I said it depended on how Ben was."

"There's no need for you to be here Hunter." I answered. "The doctor said he'll be sleeping a lot so I'll call you in the morning and let you know how he is, then you can meet Amanda. But I want you to call Mel and tell her what's happening because she'll be wondering why I haven't called JR tonight."

"I can do that." He said. "Anything else?"

"Call John and see if he can open the store in the morning. His number is by the phone, and you'd better call Ma as well." I answered, trying to think of anything I'd forgotten.

"Once I've talked to the doctor and know how long Ben will be here, I'll get you to grab me some clean clothes."

"You sure you don't want me to stay with you tonight?"

"No." I replied, grateful that he'd asked, but I wanted to be alone with Ben. "You go home and make sure you eat something and do your homework."

"You want me to clean the house and rake the yard as well?" He grinned at me, and I reached over and ruffled his hair.

"Don't be a smart ass. Now go."

"Try to sleep some okay." He said, standing and looking at Ben before turning back to me. "Don't want you getting sick as well. You're the worst patient in the world….."

"Hey, I'm not that bad." I protested.

"Yeah right! I looked after you when you tried to get yourself blown up remember." He grinned.

I had to admit he was right. The weeks I'd had to spend in bed recuperating had been the longest of my life, and I think I would have gone insane if Hunter hadn't come home.

"Okay, you win." I smiled at him. "Now go home, and I'll call you in the morning."

"Make sure you do!" He stated, leaning in and giving me a hug before grabbing his backpack, and I watched him walk out the door.

I turned my attention back to Ben. He hadn't stirred since we'd arrive and to say I wasn't worried would be a lie. I pulled my chair closer to his bed and carefully rested my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and this time I couldn't hold back my tears and sent a silent prayer to anyone who maybe listening to bring him back to me.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven – Understanding

**THIS CHAPTER IS FROM HUNTER'S POV**

I woke to the sun streaming through my bedroom window and quickly looked at the clock, relieved that it was only nine. I hadn't slept well, my mind full of thoughts of Ben and Amanda, each overtaking each other as I jumped from one worry to another.

I grabbed my cell and punched in Michael's number, but his cell was turned off. I assumed he was still with Ben so typed a quick text telling him to call me as soon as he could. I was tempted to head straight to the hospital but decided I'd wait to hear from Michael, especially if he planned to stay longer and needed clothes brought to him, but actually I was as worried as much about Michael as I was about Ben. I knew how down he got when Ben was sick, and although he always said he could handle everything himself, I tried to do what I could to ease the burden.

My thoughts as I walked to the bathroom were of Amanda. I knew it was too early to call her, and to be honest, I wasn't sure she would talk to me after having had time to think about my confession.

I showered quickly and had just made myself some toast when my cell rang. I flicked it open quickly.

"Hey how's Ben?" I asked before Michael could speak.

"He's still sleeping. The doctor just left and said it's nothing to worry about but…."

"You're worrying!" I said and heard a slight laugh in Michael's voice when he answered me.

"Yeah, can't change the habits of a life time I guess."

"Did you get any sleep last night?" I asked ignoring his sigh before continuing "And have you eaten since you've been there?"

"Christ, you sound like my mother."

I could almost see the look of frustration crossing his face as he spoke.

"Remember what I told you…there's no fucking way I'm looking after both of you!"

"For fuck sake, Hunter! Stop sounding like my mother. I'm fine!" He was trying to put on a front for me, but I could hear the tiredness in his voice.

"So you want me to bring you some clothes?" I asked, changing the subject because I knew when I'd pushed far enough. "And I called Toronto. Mel wants me to call as soon as I have any news about Ben. John said he'd keep the store going for as long as you want, and your mother said she'd come by the hospital this morning, she also invited me and Amanda for dinner tonight…"

"You talked to Amanda yet?" He interrupted me.

"No." I replied quietly, doubts about the reception I'd get still filling my mind.

"It'll be okay Hunter." He replied. "But I have to go. I don't want to be away from Ben for too long in case he wakes up."

"Ok, I think that's all anyway. I'll be there in an hour or so." I answered and flicked my cell shut only for it to ring a minute later.

"Hunter?" I'm sure she could hear my relief at the sound of her voice at the other end of the phone.

"Yeah."

"I can meet you…but it won't be till after twelve ….if you want to that is…."

"Of course I do!" I replied. "I have to stop by the hospital first…."

"How's Ben?" She cut off my words. "And Michael?"

"Ben's still sleeping, and Michael's still worrying." I answered.

"What about you?" She asked. "How are you doing?"

The concern in her voice was clear, and I felt myself flush, glad that she couldn't see me.

"I'm ok. But will be much better when I see you." I blurted out.

"Me too, Hunter." She replied. "See you in a few hours ok. Our usual place? And give your Dads a hug from me if you can."

"Sure. Oh…..I forgot. Debbie invited us for dinner tonight, but you don't have to come if you don't want to. I think she just wants to make sure I'm not living on junk food."

"I'd love to go Hunter. I hope she's making ziti." She replied laughing.

"Me too." I said and couldn't help smiling "I'd better go. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Hunter."

I hung up and ran upstairs, finding a small suitcase and throwing what I thought Michael may need for the next couple of days. I made sure the house was locked up and walked out the door, flagging down a passing taxi. The trip to the hospital didn't take long and I waited impatiently for the elevator.

The hospital was already busy as I walked down the hall towards Ben's room, and I took a deep breath before pushing open the door, taking in the scene in front of me.

Michael was asleep; his head resting on Ben's shoulder, one arm flung over his chest, the other hand wrapped in Ben's, fingers laced through each others, the steady beep of the machines the only sound to be heard. I quietly put the bag on the floor and tip-toed nearer to the bed.

Neither of them stirred, and I just stood for a few minutes watching them both, silently asking anyone who might be listening to make things fucking right for them. They didn't deserve this, no one did.

I thought of Amanda; knowing that this was part of the disease I wanted to keep hidden from her, but I knew that would be unfair. Michael had always told me you couldn't ignore the bad and focus on the good when it came to love. They were one of the same, and if my fathers had taught me nothing else over the years, they had shown me that love can overcome anything.

I decided not to disturb Michael and fumbled in my pocket, finding a piece of scrap paper and scribbling a quick note for him. I placed it carefully on the end of the bed, and after a few more minutes, slipped quietly from the room heading off to meet Amanda.

She was waiting for me when I finally arrived and my heart did a little flip-flop when she immediately slipped her hand into mine.

"How's your Dad?" She asked as we walked towards a quiet corner of the park and dropped down on the grass.

"They were both asleep when I was there so I just left Michael's bag and a note." I replied. "Michael will call me if there's any change."

"Does Ben get sick often?" She asked quietly, and I knew what she was thinking.

"A few times, yeah. Luckily he doesn't always end up in hospital though. It's just that when he gets a cough or a cold it can turn into something much worse really quickly, which is why he takes such good care of himself." I replied.

"What about you?" She asked, absently pulling at the grass.

"I'm ok. Don't know if I'm just lucky or cause I'm young, but it could happen. That's one of the things you need to know." I answered. She looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I have to take pills every day." I said, watching her, and she nodded, and I continued. "They keep my viral load and t-cells under control."

"What's a viral load" She asked

I tried to remember what the doctor had explained to me about it.

"It's tells how much HIV there is in my blood." I said "The pills I take are called antiretroviral's. They control it, but they can't cure it."

"So it will always be there?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"But other people can only get it from you through blood on blood contact can't they?" She asked.

I knew that she had been doing some research since I last saw her.

"Yeah. The only other way is unprotected sex." I replied.

"Which is how you got it?"

"Yeah." I answered, but I knew where this was leading.

"So that means we could never have sex without a condom?"

I just nodded because I knew there was more to come.

"And we could never have children."

She held my eyes when she said it, and I dropped my head.

"Yeah." I mumbled. "So I guess that means that you don't want to see me any more?"

She was silent, and I peeked at her from under my eyelashes. She looked as if she was considering her answer before she spoke.

"But we could adopt." She replied leaning in and wrapping her arms around me.

My surprise at her answer must have shown on my face, and she giggled.

"What you thought that I would stop loving you because….."

"Hang on." I interrupted, my voice sounding loud to my ears. "You love me?"

"Of course I do." She laughed and pulled me to her, planting a kiss on my mouth.

When our mouths parted, I saw her eyes were sparkling, and I laughed.

"How come?" I said. "I mean why would you love someone….."

"Who is cute and kind and honest?" She said with a teasing note in her voice.

"I meant someone who's got what I've got."

"It's only a small part of who you are Hunter. It's not you."

I'm sure I had a silly look on my face as I gazed at her, still trying to get my head around her declaration.

"Haven't you forgotten to tell me something Hunter?" She asked, resting her head on my shoulder.

I thought of all that there was still to talk about but wasn't sure if I wanted to get into it now.

"What do you want to know?" I asked hesitantly.

"Do you love me?" She asked; her tone as serious as the look in her eyes.

This time I couldn't stop a huge grin crossing my face.

"Of course I fucki….. I do." I said. "I fell in love with you the moment I saw you in class, which strangely enough is what Michael told me happened to him when he first saw Ben."

"You really do take after your fathers then don't you." She laughed.

"Yeah I guess I do." I replied, wishing at this moment there was one part of me that wasn't part of one of them.

"So if we can be as happy as they are, I think we'll be ok don't you?" She asked.

"It's different for them though. I mean pos/neg relationships aren't uncommon in the gay world but for us….especially for you…."

"Because when people know they treat you differently?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Does anyone at school know?"

I remembered back to another school and a girl I thought I was in love with, who seemed at the time to also accept me but in the end couldn't. But this time I knew it was different. I could see the honesty in Amanda's eyes when she said it didn't matter.

"No." I replied. "Remember I told you that I left Pittsburgh a few years ago?"

"Yes. But you never told me why?"

"Cause they found out and….." I stopped when my eye caught the red flashing of my cell, and I picked it up quickly and flipped it open.

"Hello."

"Why didn't you wake me when you came to the hospital?"

"Probably because you would have yelled at me!" I answered, standing and brushing the grass off me. "Is Ben awake?"

"No." I could hear the tremor in Michael's voice as he spoke. "They've changed some of the drugs they're giving him. His temperature is also back up."

"You want me to come over?"

"No, it's okay. You with Amanda?"

"Yeah. We're going to your Mother's for dinner." I answered, glancing at my watch realizing we were going to be late. I could hear the lecture I'd be getting on punctuality from Debbie already. "How about I come by after I take Amanda home?"

"Thanks, Hunter." Michael replied. He sounded exhausted, and I made up my mind I would stay with him tonight to make sure he got some real sleep. "You're a good boy."

"Enough already!" I replied. "I'll see you in a few hours."

I hung up and looked down at Amanda who had been following our exchange intently.

"Ben's still not awake. Michael's starting to fall apart, and we've got to have dinner with Debbie. I don't think the day can get any worse." I said. "But one good thing has come out of it."

She smiled up at me, and I pulled her to her feet, wrapping my arms around her. She snuggled against me and for a few minutes I was able to forget about everything else. The incessant ringing of my cell interrupted us once again.

"What?"

"You'd better have a fucking good reason why you're not sitting at my table and enjoying the meal I spent fucking hours cooking for you." Debbie's voice boomed through the phone. "I just spoke to Michael, and he said you were on your way."

Amanda motioned to me to give her the phone.

"Hello Mrs Novotny, this is Amanda. I'm really sorry we're late, it's all my fault, and we'll be there as soon as we can."

"You're forgiven." I heard Debbie say. "But not that grandson of mine! The door's open when you get here."

Amanda hung up and handed me the phone. "I like your Grandma." She said, taking my hand in hers.

"Wait until she's put you through the third degree, you may change your mind" I replied.

"I don't think so." She said. "But we'd better go cause you need to get to the hospital afterwards."

I nodded, and we began to walk towards Liberty Ave, my thoughts turning back to Ben.

I needed to be with Michael, and I wanted to be with Amanda. Somehow I just had to hope that everything would work out for all of us.

Amanda must have picked up on my worries and I felt her hand squeeze mine and I smiled at her, knowing that, at least for the moment, one part of my life was perfect.


	8. Chapter 8

SHARING

By the time we arrived at Debbie's, we were both out of breath from running. I opened the door to find Carl sitting at the table, looking none too happy, and Debbie's voice booming from the kitchen _"If they don't get their asses here soon dinner will be ruined!"_

I gave Carl an apologetic look and pulled Amanda further into the room.

"Hey Carl, sorry we're late."

"Not as sorry as my stomach is." He replied, looking longingly at the empty table.

"I'll go tell Debbie we're here." I replied, trying to keep a smile from my face but not succeeding judging by the scowl he gave me. "Oh, this is Amanda."

"We really are sorry!" Amanda said, walking over and pulling out a chair next to Carl. "Hunter tells me you're a detective. That must be interesting work." She continued and received a smile from Carl.

I could see Carl about to launch into a full scale job description and gave Amanda a silent _'thank you' _then headed into the kitchen.

"About fucking time!" Debbie stated, pulling a large dish from the oven.

"Sorry." I apologized once again. "We were talking and sort of lost track of time."

Debbie stopped what she was doing and met my eyes, the question in them obvious to see.

"Yeah I told her." I answered before she could ask.

"Everything?"

"Just about." I replied and once again felt relief flow through my body. The hardest part was over. Amanda knew the worst and hadn't run away. The feeling that we could survive anything from now on was stronger than ever.

"You did the right thing." Debbie replied, looking at me closely.

I was wondering if I had dirt on my face and rubbed my hand over it as she continued to look at me.

"You've grown into a nice young man." Debbie said, and I'm sure I could see her eyes glistening slightly.

"Tell that to Michael…..he thinks I'm a smart ass brat!" I replied trying to lighten the moment.

Debbie and I have a yet to form a defined relationship. She's tried to be a mixture of mother, grandmother and friend, but as yet we still hadn't found the common ground between them. I didn't need a mother, had survived since childhood without one, at least one that understood the meaning of being a mother. I'm not even sure if I needed a grandmother. I'd never had one or really any family. I was used to being on my own but once Debbie decided I was family her mothering instincts took over. I felt comfortable around her, and maybe that's what being a grandmother was. I knew she would go into battle for me at a moment's notice and that gave me a good feeling.

"I'm worried about Michael." Debbie's voiced snapped me out of my thoughts. "He's not eating or sleeping."

I looked at Debbie, and her face showed something that I had never seen from my mother, the worry and love you have for a child, no matter what their age.

I walked over to her and draped my arm around her shoulders. I saw the surprised look on her face.

"You're a good kid." She said again and pulled me into a hug. I let her hug me a little longer than usual and when she moved away, she had a smile back on her face.

"I'm going to the hospital after dinner. I'll make sure he eats and gets a some sleep." I told her and she nodded in reply.

"Talking about food, we'd better get Carl fed before he starts sulking." Debbie said, handing me the large dish which I was pleased to see was my favorite, ziti.

I carried it into the other room and put it on the table. Amanda and Carl were still in deep discussion over who knows what, but Amanda flashed me a quick smile which as always caused my heart to beat just that little bit faster.

"Come on everyone let's eat." Debbie boomed walking from the kitchen, a platter of garlic bread in her hands. I settled into the seat beside Amanda, and the next few minutes were taken up with us loading our plates.

Conversation was sparse while everyone concentrated on their food. I still wondered how Michael never managed to inherit any of his mother's cooking skills.

"That was as good as Hunter said!" Amanda said as she finished her last mouthful and received a brilliant smile from Debbie.

"You like cooking?" Debbie asked.

"I don't get a chance to do it much. My mom doesn't……she likes to do all the cooking herself." Amanda answered.

"Well you're always welcome here." Debbie smiled, and I could see questions forming in her mind about Amanda's home life. Debbie is, if nothing else, very astute.

"Let me help with those!" Amanda said as Debbie starting clearing the table.

Debbie attempted to shoo her away, but Amanda ignored her, picking up the empty plates and carrying them to the kitchen.

Carl and I left them to it and settled onto the couch. I still wasn't sure what Carl thought about me. I think he'd got past the 'the kids a hustler' stage, and my distrust of cops, which had started at an early age, had diminished over time. I liked Carl. The fact he could hold his own with Debbie was a major point in his favor in my eyes.

"She's a nice kid." Carl's voice startled me. "But aren't you a little young to be getting serious?"

I knew he and Debbie must have talked about us which didn't surprise me.

"What I should wait till I'm as old as you and Debbie?" I retorted.

"You're a…."

"Smart ass kid, yeah I know." I replied as Carl's deep laugh filled the room.

"You realize Debbie is already planning your wedding?" Carl said, and I noticed a wistful look in his eyes.

"Shouldn't she be planning her own?" I answered.

"You know what she's like." Carl replied. "Determined not to get married until Michael and Ben can."

"That argument's getting old." I replied. "Maybe you should just organize it and not give her a chance to say no."

"Have you ever known Debbie to do anything she doesn't want to?" Carl answered, but I could see he was considering the idea.

"Won't know unless you try will you!" I told him as I looked at my watch and realized it was getting late, and I wanted to get to the hospital. I was grateful for the distraction that the visit to Debbie's had caused, but my thoughts were still with my fathers.

I walked to the kitchen and stopped at the door. Debbie was standing there with Amanda wrapped in her arms, and I'm sure Amanda was crying. I wanted to burst in but something stopped me.

I backtracked and headed to the bathroom, letting my mind fill with all possible scenarios as to what could have caused Amanda's tears. The thoughts that came to me were not ones I liked.

I couldn't imagine that Debbie had said something to upset her and thinking back to the conversation during dinner nothing set off any alarm bells.

Pushing thoughts I was not yet ready to face from my mind, I left the bathroom and wandered slowly downstairs, this time calling Amanda's name as I neared the kitchen.

When I walked in the door, she turned to me, and I could tell she had made an effort to remove any trace of tears from her face, but I could see she was still trying to compose herself.

"I want to get to the hospital." I said from the doorway.

"I'm coming with you." Amanda replied, and I'm sure my surprise at her words was clearly visible judging from the look on her face.

I walked further into the room tentatively reaching for her hand. She slipped hers into mine and squeezed it.

"Are you sure?" I asked, not sure if she was ready for this.

She just nodded in reply before her lips briefly touched mine, and she turned back to Debbie.

"Thank you for dinner." She said. "I'll be back for those cooking lessons soon."

Debbie beamed at her. "Just don't wait for my grandson to bring you, otherwise you'll never get here."

"Hey that's unfair!" I protested, but knew it was half true.

They both laughed and I relaxed for a moment before the thoughts of Amanda seeing Ben in the hospital flooded back into my mind.

I didn't know what her reaction would be or if she could handle it, but I guess it was better to find out now.


End file.
